Written by Craig “Frenchie” McFarlane, Special to AllHabs.net

TORONTO, ON. — For those of you who might know of my comedic tendencies in my hockey observational humour let me just say that the humour will still be in today’s post, but not as much as usual due to events of today, Monday November 28. However, Les Habs are affected very much in these events as you will see.

(Photo by newsobserver.com)

These events are twofold, No. 1 is the Carolina Canes firing Paul Maurice and hiring the guy all (most?) Hab Nationites really want to be coach of Les Habs, “Capt. Kirk” Muller, n’est-ce-pas? And, No. 2 is the recent surge of the Leafs here in Toronto where I have resided for the past 38 yrs. or so.

But firstly, the non-hiring of “Capt. Kirk” as coach of Les Habs: don’t we all agree that right now he would look pretty good behind Les Habs bench? As compared to who we have right now? We’d be at least seeing a 100 percent effort in every game, and a power-play that will use the best players (not the coach’s faves) for the best results.

Ya know, it seems a real shame that “Capt. Kirk” was not even considered for the Habs’ head coach job, even if our present one continues to falter game after game, and boring us with his “system” at the same time. And, seeing that I reside here in COV (Centre of Universe) I’m pretty sure I can get away with saying why “Capt Kirk” will never get the gig………it’s because of “U-Know-Why”!!!!!

Correct me SVP if I’m wrong here, but just how long does Rule #10234510B (AKA “Le Rejean Tremblay Rule”) have to stay in Les Habs Con-stitution? Does it really make that much difference when a playoff spot (a possible two series and six home dates) with playoff revenue of approximately $2M per game is at stake? And, one potential coach is smarter, cooler, more inventive, more exciting and also has played in NHL for 19 years?

I have checked all the coaching records since 70’s, and I have not seen one reference to Mons. Tremblay acting as official “advisor” to Scotty, or Jean Perron, or Jacques Demers in their respecitve Stanley Cup victories. Was he working “sous la table” for Les Habs in those golden years?

(Photo by RICK EGLINTON/TORONTO STAR)

Event No. 2 my fellow Hab Nationites is the current Leafs’ success (they’re for real, eh?) as compared to Nos Amours lack of this season. But perhaps I should direct you to a column in Toronto Sun, Monday, November 28 by Leafs columnist Terry Koshan where he shows us how their management led by Iatollah Brian Burke has completely overaken our current Habs management led by “Bob Lite” Gauthier (merci to Jack Todd for the “Bob Lite” handle) So, why don’t ya just Google Toronto Sun Sports and see “Club has little snarl, but Burkie’s team is fast, young & resilient” and read it?

All I can say is “read it and weep”, mes chums, the Leafs have finally caught up to Les Habs and are quickly passing us. This is told to me every day 24-7 by those fanatic Leaf Nations types, the same ones who are now selling maps to the 2012 Parade route down Yonge St. and over to the ACC. There! I’ve said it, and I’m sorry I did……..the Leafs will drink out of the Stanley Cup before we will ever again!!!

And, why will they drink out of the Stanley Cup before we ever do again? Cause of better drafting, better trades, not afraid of signing U.S. College kids, and Iatollah Burke will NOT under any circumstances coddle, babysit, or make excuses for a horrendous $40 million mistake by the name of “No-Go” Gomez……..he would’ve been bought out & sent down to AHL Marlies, thereby creating a $25-30M cap space for other dealings that will help his club. Capiche Habs Management? Do the math, folks, do the math!!!!

One other important thing, coach Wilson lets his team play hockey when they’re ahead 3-1, or 4-1, not some antiquated trap system invented by Jacques “Nytol” Lemaire. When is the last time Les Habs won a game by “protecting” a lead…….uhhhh…….not last Saturday vs. Sidney and his Penguins, that’s for sure. And when does the “Gomez/Kositytsyn” $11-12 million per year experiment end guys?

This just in………Max has just been “Shanabanned” for three games for the “hit” (?) on Letang!! Three games? Hmmm……..”Pukeic” Lucic gets only two minutes for concussing Miller (and he’s still out of action!!) Letang gets hit, comes back in overtime and scores an illegal winning goal, Max gets no penalty on the play by referee “Mr. Magoo”……..hmmmmm………I get the feeling that the Lucic incident and Max’s incident was “talked over” with Jeremy Jacobs?

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Your correspondent Craig “Frenchie” McFarlane is a professional comedian/slash/comedy writer/slash/producer/slash/after-dinner speaker (end of slashes, and it’s about time!!) “Frenchie” also runs The Comedy Pro Shop Agency in Toronto and is available along with his top comedy pals for all “live” events, golf tournaments, sports celeb. dinners, roasts, corp. Xmas parties, etc……(www.frenchiemcfarlane.bravehost.com)